There Will Be Gain And I Must Be Happy About It

     Two weeks ago I was skipping merrily to Zumba classes and running on the weekends. As a matter of fact I finally ran six miles for the first time since my 10K in May. But when I went for a run the Sunday before last, I experienced pain in my leg in the first mile and was forced to walk home. My doctor said that it's my muscle and to take it easy for a while. I had a question for him. WHAT IS TAKE IT EASY? One of the things I don't like to do is take it easy. Of course I have rest days and I now realize how important they are because my muscles need to repair from there wear and tear. But several rest days in a row bring about another issue.

  INACTIVITY + HUNGER/TRYING TO CONTROL MY  INTAKE X STRESSED OUT = GAIN

   After many years of being a Weight Watcher, the scale and I have come to an agreement. The scale does not hurt my feelings and I do not lose my temper. The scale is not out to get me, it's out to guide me. In the past I sat through many Weight Watchers meetings with my lip "poked out" screaming GAINED GAINED GAINED in my head over and over while my wonderful leader Melanie was trying to conduct her meeting and my fellow meeting attendees were celebrating their accomplishments. This was wrong. That anger caused me to close my mind to what was going on and what I needed to hear. My negative energy was not making my situation any better. It just made me mean. And I would say some horrible things to myself.
       After a week, the doctor said that I could try and do a few light exercises like walking. I also asked if I could do an exercise DVD and he said yes as long as I am not in pain.[These negotiations were necessary because I probably had the look of a recovering addict when I asked the question. I imagine I looked like Jamie Foxx in "Ray" scratching myself. My poor doctor.] I went home and dusted off my old Weight Watchers Walking DVD. I was frustrated while doing the walking DVD because I was used to doing so much more. I remember that when I started working out it was hard to get through a DVD. Later it was hard to do multiple DVD workouts a week. But I did my workout and I felt like I was on the road to recovery.
            I was able to take Zumba classes the last two days (modified of course). I expect a gain this week. I was averaging 40-60 activity points a week but this week I have 13 activity points. I will weigh in and access my next steps which PROBABLY involves eating less when I am not as active. It also involves a little more restraint around emotional eating.

BOBISM
WHEN I FOCUSED ON HOW BAD I WAS, I DIDN'T WANT TO LISTEN TO MYSELF

Will It Go Round In Circles

          I like running. I may not like the first half mile or so but once that special feeling kicks in, I'm there. The weather has been pretty weird in New York City lately. One day it is Spring the next it is winter. I know we cannot have a mild winter every year but I could wish for one. A few weeks ago a snowstorm hit and completely covered the running path that I use near my home. Luckily it was a light snow and maintenance was able to clear the paths. So the day after the storm I talked myself into going for a run. I dressed in some warm gear and was on my way. Despite the snow it was not too cold outside so I started running my usual route. I made it almost all the way around the track and towards the finish line, there was a puddle. My "running high" brain told me that I could run through it. So there I was up to one ankle in a puddle of cold slushy snow water. Clutch my pearls! What was I supposed to do? The old me would have used harsh language and went back home. Okay, so I did use some harsh language, then I back peddled out and ran to the right into some more muddy snow. After a little more harsh language, I was back on dry land running towards my start/finish line and kept on going.
           When I arrived at the giant puddle, I chose to run left this time. The left lead me about a 1/4 of a mile away from the start line so I ran past the start line, to the end of the puddle so that the puddle became my new start line. Since I was missing the patch of ground that the puddle covered I felt the need to make it up some way. There is a small hill on my path that  I love but instead of going up the hill, I ran the 1/4 of the mile around the loop to approach the hill on the back end. Do you know what I found on the back end? A steeper incline in the opposite direction. The muscles in my legs twitched because of the unfamiliar hill. I liked the feeling so I turned around and ran it again and stopped at the bottom of my usual hill and ran up in my usual route achieving two incline exercises running around the same circle twice.
          The folly continued as I ran around the path. I figured why not extend my run by running around the playground near the path once and continue on the path that leads to the diversion at the large puddle. I ran this route many times (maybe a few times too many around the hills). What I initially thought would be a two mile quick run around the snow became a 5.73 mile run. I know what you runners are thinking. One more run around the hill and I would have run a 10K. But the moral of my running tale is that one bad puddle don't stop the run. My track measures .82 of a mile. I usually have to run around four times to complete a 5K.  I have been using my double hill and playground route ever since. I turned a .82 mile into a 1.20 mile and with a little extra circle hill running, I run five giddy miles.
         Of course I still have to talk myself into going for a run. But eventually I have to talk myself into stopping. And one of these days I will run six miles.

BOBISM: IT'S NOT GOING INTO MY MOUTH UNLESS I PUT IT THERE.
         

Push It

It's been a while since my last blog. I always feel like I am back in Catholic church when I say that. Forgive me blog readers for I have been lax. It has been two months since my last blog. And now on with the show.
Last May I did something next step for me. I ran a 10K. I did not go on and on about it because it was a weird situation.It was my first solo race without my racing buddy Cindy. It was a longer distance than I ever ran. Even after I paid for it, I was not sure I would run it or chicken out. My ambivalence was out of control. I did train for it. I told my manager at work about it and she told me that she ran it as well( in Central Park). She also warned me that there were some enormous hills and that I would have to walk a bit. I thought that all the training I put in prepared me to run the heck out of that race. I ran from one end of the park to the other thinking "wow I was able to run those hills and now all I have to do it run back". But I was wrong. There were real hills around the corner causing me to stop running and start walking.By the end of that race I was drained of energy and some of my spirit.
       The weather started getting warmer and I concentrated on running on the treadmill just a little bit at first. But little by little I ran a little longer on the treadmill. I even added a little incline and speed.When Summer came to an end, I realized that I had not been running outside and I wanted to  run the Hunts Point Hustle 5K with my son Jake in October. I had to suck it up and get out on the track again. Jake and I ran our annual mother/son race and we both PR'd . I was so happy. And now there was yummy cool Fall running weather. During my running hiatus I became addicted to Zumba classes on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. My weight loss stalled and I was looking for a way to boost my weight loss and get more running in so I decided that Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays and Mondays were running days. I started out running 2 1/2 to 3 miles on those days. I wanted more.
     I created a small challenge for myself to push to run 10 miles every weekend. When you see the words 10 MILES you feel intimidated . But the truth is I am competing against myself. A challenge is a good thing if it motivates you to be a better you. A challenge should not make you feel weaker; it should make you feel stronger. As I grew stronger with my challenge I pushed myself to run 4 miles one day. The next time I decided to run 4 miles, I pushed myself to run 5 miles. Today that's as far as I plan to run in one day but who knows what next week while bring. I have been doing this for a few weeks and I checked my Garmin history for the amount of miles I ran in October alone. It said that I ran a little over 60 miles (5K included). I do not feel drained of energy or spirit anymore.

BOBism
I don't have to be really more excited. I just have to be less discouraged.

Activity Week Oct 30-Nov 5 (59 Activity Points)
Wed.- Gym 45 min running on treadmill + 30 min weights in afternoon
Thurs. -exercise bike 30 min + two 45 min Zumba classes back to back in evening
Fri. - 30 min run on treadmill + 25 min weights in morning
Sat. run 5 miles outdoors
Sun- run 4 miles outdoors
Mon - run 3 miles outdoors
Tues. - Run on treadmill 15 min + weights in morning an 45 min Zumba class in evening

The White Rabbit

         Last Tuesday, the "Success Handbook" book club met to talk about the chapter on Positive Self-Talk. I do struggle with this particular subject because there was negative energy in my life at various times. I would always reach out to others and offer encouragement and positive talk but I had none for myself. I am getting better at it. I think it's one of those muscles that has to be trained and strengthened all of the time. I have to realize that I am human. I make mistakes.  I also do so much more than I ever thought I would. I may not be at goal yet but my clothes are loose. I go to Zumba multiple times a week. I sign up for races. I'm not so bad after all. Just joking. Remember what the dormouse said. Feed your head Feed your head!

      Last week's WW meeting topic was regarding the effect weekends can have on your following the program. For quite a few people, the weekend can revolve around dates to eat. I have no such problem. I tend to eat at home. Also, on the weekends I usually eat two meals a day because I can take advantage of sleeping later if I do not need to travel. I will usually have a bigger breakfast by adding more protein or having pancakes which are higher in points. During the day if I feel hungry I have a piece of fruit and lots of water. This will hold me until dinner. I usually have less stress on the weekends, so I usually will not stress eat. My tricks for getting through the weekend are;
1) Sleep a little more
2) Have a healthy big breakfast , high on protein
3) Know what you're having for dinner; even if you're going out.
4) Leave room for treats.
5) Drinks lots of water.
6) If you're at an event, pay attention to the event. If it's a game, watch the game. If it's a party, dance , socialize take pictures. If you hiking, hike.

Bobism
I used to go to baseball games. I don't any more. I found out that it wasn't the baseball games. I was going to eat.

          There is a new Wednesday Night Happy Hour WW challenge that started last week. The challenge is to "TRACK". I have been proudly tracking everyday since our Good Health Guidelines challenge back in June. I track everything I eat including the things I wish I did not eat. But as my fabulous leader Melanie says " this should not be Wishful Tracking. Our trackers do not have to be works of  fiction".

THIS WEEK'S ACTIVITY ( my sinuses are killing me so I'm a little out of commission)
Wednesday - AM workout- 7:15AM Zumba class. PM Workout - walking 20 min.
Thursday - AM workout- run on treadmill 30 min & weights. PM workout- WW Social Walk 5K
Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday- nothing
Tuesday- AM workout- 30 min weights

Believe

       Last week's Weight Watchers meeting topic was regarding the ability to "Believe". I had trouble with that belief system at first. For a lot of us the ability to believe lies in proof. So you attend meetings, count your points and Voila! it works every time. But when it does work so well for others and not so well for you, what do you do for your burden of proof? The answer is..you have to nurture it. You have to commit to the program ( or any program). You have to overcome some obstacles. Sometimes you have to re-define your success and release yourself from failure. Your belief cannot be tied to the scale. The scale is feedback but it does not define you.

Bobism ~ The scale is kinda stupid.

     So how to you re-define your success? It's in all of the small changes you make along the way.Those small changes add up and before you know you are "the person formally known as". I like to try as much activity as my body will allow. My definition of allow is a little different than you think. To me allow means that I stop short of being hospitalized. I do have aches and pains everyday. But if I am allowed to wake up the next day I am grateful. And I will take my aches and pains to the gym, my bike or the track and give them some company. This makes me feel empowered. I never thought working out would feel empowering. I used to believe that working out just the minimal amount I need to to lose weight was all I was going to do. Now I actually look forward to it. Sure I procrastinate on a weekend morning when I should be out running but I will get up and out eventually. I do take time to rest if I feel injured or exhausted. The endorphin rush I get when I work out is worth it.
       So let's add this up. I did not always believe but I am nurturing the belief that I will get to my goal weight no matter how long it takes. I did not exercise regularly but now I look forward to working out not only as exercise but as an accomplishment.  So what did I accomplish in the last seven days;

Wednesday- Morning Zumba class + walking
Thursday - AM gym workout;running on treadmill 30 min + weights/ PM Double Zumba class 90min (2nd class was Zumba Tone w/ weights)
Friday - Weights upper & lower body 30 min
Saturday - Run 3 miles on track
Sunday - no formal workout, a lot of walking
Monday - Run 3 miles on track
Tuesday - PM Zumba class

I'll Have The Salad

           This week's Weight Watchers topic is about building a salad. I happen to love salad. I actually enjoy assembling my lunch salads to take to work. Salads can contain many things. Back in the day I remember going to a salad bar (hungry, of course) and putting so many things in my container only to find out I have a ten to fifteen dollar salad.  No more of that. There are a couple of things I learned by being a WW;
1) Make it yourself. You know what is in your salad because you assembled it. I ordered a salad in a restaurant while with friends. I asked to have the dressing on the side. I did receive a container of dressing but my friends kept commenting on the fact that my salad was glistening. This lead everyone to believe that the preparer added dressing to my salad. I did not enjoy it because I kept wondering if my salad was doing the backstroke.
2)I cannot speak for everywhere else in the world but in New York City, salad is expensive. I save money by bringing my little salad most days.
3) Eat what you like. You do not need to add a lot of fattening and points plus heavy add-ons to your salad. It should be pleasing to YOUR eyes and YOUR palate. Who cares if your friend does not like it.
        I have main staples to my salad; iceberg lettuce (even though others look down their noses at it , I like the taste of iceberg lettuce), cucumbers and red onions. To these I add a protein. The protein of the week for me is black beans. I like using the same protein several days in a row. It saves me confusion while preparing. There is no mystery. I like to have dressing. A friend of mine was kind enough to give me recycled dressing containers and I measured what they held as two tablespoons. My dressing of the past few weeks is Wishbone Light Buffalo Ranch dressing (2pts). It has the decadence of ranch and the spicy goodness of a burrito. It kicks my salad up a notch.
      
BOBism
The same thing that is in a sandwich is on a salad. Bread is worth 2 points plus. So as long as I am willing to use utensils, I save 4 points.

If You Could Read My Mind

     The topic of last week's Weight Watchers meeting was about "mindless eating". This is a topic that comes up quite often during a weight loss journey. During the meeting we discussed the ability to eat without distractions. This is an extremely hard task. There are very few moments in my life that go on without distraction. Oh sure you're thinking " Carin, you do not have distractions when you're sleeping" but you would be wrong. My old man snores and at any given time during the night it may wake me up. On any given night there is a cat scratching on my bedroom door because it was lonely or hungry. During the waking day I am drowning in emails, texts, phone calls and in-person requests. It does not matter if I am eating or in the bathroom, distractions come easy.
        However , my wonderful WW leader Melanie gave us the homework of eating without distractions. The next day I started looking for articles on mindless eating and trying to figure how to approach my homework/evil at home science experiment. Here are my findings;

Day 1) Ate dinner without television or reading. I recruited my old man to eat without distractions as well. I concentrated on a home cooked meal of pineapple stir-fry chicken with veggies and brown rice. I took my time. Towards the end of the meal, I realized that I was bored to death of eating my dinner. Also, I was satisfied halfway through eating . I packaged my leftovers for lunch the next day.
Day 2) I cooked meatless pasta . I wound up eating with distractions very late because we got home late after my son's little league game. Even though there was television, I paid attention to the smell, texture and taste of my meal ( which I have cooked the same way many times before). I also took my time but ate the entire plate probably because I was hungry.
Day 3) I caught myself knocking back sunflower seeds mindlessly. We had pizza for dinner with distraction and ate it mindlessly.
Day 4) This was Mother's Day. This is the day no calories count (or so I deluded myself). So I had meals served to me in bed.  I asked for and asiago bagel and fast food. My old man also found other pastries he thought I would like. Unfortunately, this could not have happened at a better time. I tasted the delicacies that I so craved using sight, smell and taste, but I could not eat that much because I recognized when I was full. It was like that episode of the Twilight Zone when Burgess Meredith is in a post- apocalyptic world with all the books he wants to read but his glasses broke.
Day 5) I was back to normal eating. Again I enlisted my old man to the distraction free dinner. I found myself bored halfway through and ate until I was satisfied.
          This experiment was a revelation for me because I did not realize how easy it was for me to eat more or even more than I should because I was watching television during dinner. Does this mean I will always eat without distractions? No, it does not. I am a product of modern American society. We must multi-task at all times. But when we can, we should try to focus on what we put in our mouths while we are eating.

BOBISM

I don’t have a problem eating out. It’s eating at home. I don’t even know why I go home.

JOEYISM

You never lose weight mindless eating but you always lose weight mindful eating.

Get Up Offa That Thing

                Weight Watchers 360 is giving me a new outlook. When I saw that there was a new program I thought "oh no I am going to have to learn to count points a different way again?" But that's not what it's about. It's about changing the way you think permanently. I have to say that Weight Watchers has already changed the way that I think because although I am going through a plateau, I have not gained all of the weight back. I think they realize that everyone learns differently. Some members catch the wave right away and ride that wave straight to goal. Then there are those like me who catch the wave, ride for a short while, fall off the board, drag the board back to the beach and work on their tan. In case you did not know, I am one of the second set of people. A person who wants to catch the wave and ride it all the way to the beach does not give up after they wipeout. They get back out there and attempt to catch the wave again. This is where I am right now.
                I felt a little discouraged and frustrated. I had been running and attending meetings and tracking some of the time but for some reason I could not grasp that "new meeting" feeling you get when you resolve to do better. My WW friends went to a book club meeting for the Weight Watchers "Success Handbook" and caught the wave. So I attended the next meeting and I did not see the wave. I stewed on it for a week but by the end of that week I felt so depressed and the stench of FAILURE was all over me. It was one of those moments when you get to the fork in the road and try to decide whether to get on or off. I decided to stay on. I arrived at my usual Wednesday Night Happy Hour meeting early so that I could speak with my leader Melanie alone. [This is really hard to do because everyone loves Melanie. It's like being at a concert trying to get an autograph]. When I had Melanie to myself, I told her my frustration about my progress with my weight loss journey. I told her that I had no intentions to quit but that I was beginning to lose my resolve. Melanie asked me some questions about making changes in the way I was eating and working out. I told her I had been making all sorts of changes but with poor results. I would lose five pounds and then gain five pounds over and over and over again for the last year and a half. The thing that made me feel even more desolate was that I have soooooo far to go. Getting stuck here is not an option.
            I sent Melanie my recent food tracker along with my current workout routine to see what I was doing wrong. Melanie assured me that I was doing some good things. She made some suggestions for me to try like add more protein to my breakfast and lunch. My breakfast and lunch points were low. I was also hoarding points for the evening for dinner and a snack. One of the problems is that I was hungry later in the day. For example;
My typical weekday breakfast- Instant oatmeal made with 1/2 cup fat free milk, blueberries and an orange.
My new breakfast - Instant oatmeal, ff milk, blueberries, orange and three egg whites.
By adding more protein to my first two meals of the day, I was eating more food but was less hungry when I got home. I also found that I did not need to hoard points for snacks and that quite a few evenings I did not eat a snack (this frightened me).   
           Now for the hardest part of all. I have to admit that I did not want to ask Melanie for help. I still had the old problem where everyone comes to me for help syndrome. This happened gradually over a long period of time until I forgot how to ask for help for myself. I was also ashamed that after being in WW for so long that I should have it by now. I felt like hot mess. I am happy to report that I lost 1lb the first week and 3.2lbs the second week. So for anyone out there feeling like the one with all the answers, never stop asking for help.
BOBISM
 The scale could change in a few hours or days. I could drink this water next to me and get on the scale and gain weight. So I guess it's fattening.    
                 

You Only Live Twice

               Year 2012 was different for me. It was the first time that I had a goal for the entire year. What was my goal? Running of course. In January I made the commitment to run what has become our annual 5K race in Flushing Meadows. The race was in April. The previous year I did not start training until a few weeks before the race but in 2012 I started training in January. I also took Sheryl's advice and joined the New York Road Runners club so that I could get a discount on races in the future.  I made the initial rule that I must run at least two days a week .  I went outside my comfort zone and ran around my neighborhood (2.55 miles) and not just the track. I ran by myself at night . I ran in the cold weather and still broke a sweat. When race day came, I ran with confidence that I put in my training time.
                I went on to run more races. I ran 5K's, 4 Miles and even a 5 Mile. I ran in cold and extreme heat. During the long hot summer I got out of bed and ran at 4:30 and 5am to avoid the heat. I was very nervous at the idea of running early in the morning, in the dark , by myself but then I learned to love the solitude. I even practiced my first hill drill at 6am in the heat. I purchased running clothes with wicking and a spibelt to carry all my stuff instead of holding everything or stuffing things into the vault aka my bra. I got a subscription to Runners World Magazine and downloaded and book on Women Running on my Nook.  I went from barely running at all to someone who loves to run. I actually feel depressed if I don't run for a few days. And let's not even go into injuries. I am struggling with a strained muscle right now. But I keep at it. I ran ten races this year. I don't think I ran ten races throughout my childhood.
              The only thing bad about my running fetish is that I neglected the other forms of exercise. I rested on non run days and that was not my best idea.  So I recently joined a new gym. I am trying to commit to at least two days a week at the gym. I even took my first official Zumba class last week. I love using the weights machines, especially the machines for legs because I know it will make me a stronger runner.  In the past I have been afraid to run on the treadmill but two weeks ago I did it.
             So you know when you use machines like the treadmill or bikes and they ask for your personal information like your weight and your age? I found myself typing 47 as my age. It was hilarious to me that for almost a week I forgot my age. Once I noticed what I kept doing I started to analyze myself. So here is my theory. I will turn 47 years young this summer. This must be the year that I get to goal. I have been in WW for a while and watched others get to their goal but maybe I was not in the right mind set at the right time. But typing 47 into the exercise machine by accident too many times is putting me on notice.

BOBISM
"Something happens that is unexpected but I expected it"

Doo Wop (That Thing)

           I am still working on ways to get moving more. My friend Cindy was kind enough to give my name to a rep at the Lucille Roberts gym she joined.  I currently belong to a gym that I never go to. You may be wondering how I could do this. Well here goes... 1) it's six blocks away from my office, 2) it's close to my old Weight Watchers meeting site that I no longer attend, 3) the best time to workout without a crowd is at 6am in the morning. This requires me to catch a 5am bus. Even though I do like an early morning workout, I hate getting up at 4am.
          So I made an appointment to go to the gym for a tour and to sign on (there was a sale). The rep who signed me up was a petite little lady. She showed me all around the gym while I smiled. And then she did it. She asked me how much weight I want to lose and what was my deadline. Gasp! That's the sound of me clutching my pearls. So I smiled and answered "oh about a hundred pounds". She smiled back like that was a low number and said "and when would you like to lose it by"? I replied "I'm on Weight Watchers". We walked around the gym some more pointing out machines I like when the the rep said " so when do you want to lose the weight by"?( insert perky voice here)  I turned and looked her in the eyes and without removing my smile I said" look here, I did not gain this weight overnight and I ain't gonna lose it overnight. I am 46 years old, probably sliding into menopause as we speak. Weight has been an issue for a long time and I am sure we're gonna have a meeting of the minds some day. Until that day comes, I'm going to keep going to weight watchers, run and come to this gym. We on the same page"? She nodded yes.
         So the next day, which was Friday, I packed my gym bag with my workout clothes and combination lock( I still remember the combination). I was determined that this was my first day in my new gym. To make the deal even sweeter, my job closed early that day because of our holiday party later that night. I texted my friend Cindy that at 3pm I was going directly to the gym. She then informed me that the gym was closed until 4pm for their holiday party. SMH!
          I did get to go to the gym yesterday for the first time. It was fun. I walked on the treadmill( I am still scared to run on the treadmill) for 30 minutes, rode the bike for 30 minutes. Walked on the treadmill for 10 more minutes so that I could talk to Cindy and then I used the leg weight machines. The gym is not a replacement for running. That is still my favorite exercise. But I was definitely getting sloppy and not cross training enough to help with my weight loss. I do not run everyday because I do not want to cause wear and tear on my joints . I am glad Cindy recommended me to the gym because sometimes we need a new start and this may be just the fresh start I needed.

Close To You

the ActiveLink

                    I have not been very diligent in my blogging lately and I don't know why but I'm back. As a long time Weight Watcher not a goal I look forward to this time of year when the new WW gadgets come out and I find new and inspiring ways to get to goal. This year WW has something new for me; the ActiveLink. This is a device very much like my pedometer. It is supposed to give me credit for moving my butt. Unfortunately there is a new sheriff in town. It's called move your butt all day or else. This perplexes me because although I knew I had a sedentary job, working out was part of the package towards a better me. But it turns out that with ActiveLink I can workout and not get to 100%.

what it looks like at 100%

               As the great WW prophet Bob once said to me when I explained why my pedometer is important to me "Oh! You want credit." I almost clutched my pearls when he said this. I was hurt that he called me out on wanting credit for moving my butt.  It turns out that Bob is right. I do want credit darn it. Don't we all want credit for doing things?
              In my search for the holy grail of 100% I have done many things.

• One night after a long day I noticed it was not quite there, so I did a 20 min DVD at 9pm.
• I drink a lot of water at work so that I have to go to the bathroom ALOT.
• Sometimes when I'm in the ladies room stall I do squats.
• Another night I paced up and down the laundry room, while playing solitaire on my mobile(how's that for multi-tasking?) , much to the distress of my neighbors.
• I danced up and down the kitchen to rock while cooking dinner. Have you ever stirred a pot and boogied down? You should try it.
• I also challenged Jake to a dance-off.
• I gave my hubby a lap dance (after staring at me like I am crazy, he gave me a dollar).

             The moral is you actually can move more during the day if you put your mind to it like it's your final exam. Change is hard.

what it looks like when it's happy

It Takes Two

       Last year I signed up for two 5Ks back to back. While training I sprained my ankle. I was able to do the WW Walk-It 5K but not the Hunts Point Hustle. Other than the 5K with my WW homies, Cindy and Tam, this was my shot to participate in the Bronx which is the borough in which I live. I would up sitting on the sidelines all summer. Fast forward to this year, a brand new year indeed. A year when I joined the NY Road Runners and started challenging myself to do more. Starting in April I tried to sign up for an event every month. When it came time to sign up for October, the only race I could find near my skills wa a 1.7 mile. Cindy laughed at me saying that's too small but a chance to run in an event is a chance and I took it. A month ago I received an email that there would be another Hunts Point Hustle and it would take place the day before the 1.7 mile. I chose to sign up and run two races two days in a row.

        The Hunts Points Hustle 5K was an inexpensive event. For $5 I signed Jake up for the 5K too. I asked Jake if he would like give running a 5K a try and he said yes. I was already training myself to run 3.1 miles straight. I took Jake out for a couple of training runs. He ran ahead of me to start. He ran like a child, from side to side on the track, smacking tree branches on the path. He slowed down when he burnt out and walked behind me the rest of the way.  So Saturday morning, at a brisk 39 degrees, I attached a racing strip to his sneaker and we moved over to the start line. Jake took a look at all the runners in their gear and said " you're going to to run fast and leave me behind". I told him that I would do no such thing and reminded him that I run very slow and we will be fine. Then a horn blew and Jake took off, running with the crowd as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder at me and never looked back again.  I continued to run at my usual pace thinking oh my goodness I've lost my son and I have run this kind of race before and I can do this.
           Unlike the races in Central Park, I found myself a distance from others and it felt like I was running early morning on a weekend. I was listening to my music which was telling me I was halfway there when suddenly the finish line appeared. Other finishers were cheering at the finish line and all I could do was look my long lost son. And there he was. I crossed the finish line thinking I should not kill him in public. He was waiting with an older woman who assured me that he had to run his own race. After the race, I got to do something I never did before. They had a Zumba instructor giving Zumba lessons and I jumped into a spot and did Zumba for the first time in my life.

           On Thursday I went to pick up my number for the 1.7 mile race. I walked from my office in midtown to the upper east side, approximately a little over two miles. When I received my number bib, I noticed that it did not have the tracking strip on it. When I asked one of the volunteers she pointed to a young man across then room. So I asked him to help me obtain  my strip and he looked at my number bib and said "we do not time that race". I felt as though I was stabbed in the heart. Did he just look down at my 1.7mile race? Does he realize how hard it was for me to be able to run 1.7miles? It was not until I got home that I realized I actually walked farther to pick up my racing bib than the length of the actual race.
           Today I Jake and I had our NY Road Runners races. First Jake ran the childrens race with his 10-12 age group. Then I ran the 1.7mile. It was an interesting course with a few small hills. For once my kids were actually at the finish line cheering me on. Jake asked me what happens when he turns 13 years old and no longer qualifies for the 10-12 year old catagory. I told him that we will figure something out. A year ago I noticed that Jake was putting on a little weight. Since then we put him in little league and I have tried various ways to get him to be active. I bought him a suit for an event last year in April and it did not fit by August. I was not sure what to do because I did not want to give him a complex but I also did not want him to have to work as hard as I do trying to lose weight in the future. This August in anticipation of a wedding his dad was looking for something for him to wear and he tried on the too tight suit and it fit. He called me at work to say that we do not need buy a new outfit. Jake was so sharp dressed up in his suit so trim and fit. His gym teacher told him that he is her best student who is always willing to run extra laps..

Bobism:
Eating always makes me feel better until I stop and then I feel worse.

Two Wrongs

      Often during my weight loss journey I come across a few setbacks but I find that it's how we react to setbacks that's important. For me life's setbacks have often lead to life's smorgasbord. I even admit to years of eating to get through parts of my life that I found difficult to deal with. Some people attribute this to when you were a child, parents often gave you a snack to make you feel better.
Two Rights Don't Make A Wrong
     I never filled you in on my September 15th four mile race. It was absolutely great. I had a couple of new experiences that I never had before. One was needing to take a bathroom break. I usually go to the bathroom before a race but I may have gone too early this time. So right before the race I told my friend Cindy, that I need to go. She looked at me like I had lost my mind and said wait for a porto potty stop. The feeling did not leave so for the first time ever, I had to stop. I was mortified and laughing my head off because I felt stupid and human. Luckily for me, there were other human ladies feeling the same way at the first porto.  The second thing is an event that I will never forget. I finally ran up Cat Hill, the formidable hill within the first mile of a New York Road Runners Four Mile race. Usually when I get to this hill I start walking. But thanks to a little bit of hill drills and some courage I slowly ran up the hill. Lunatic that I am, I took a picture of the cat statue after stating that I finally beat it. I was able to run a few more hills and the rest of the race. Right after that, my son Jake ran the children's race in his age bracket. After we all went to breakfast at a diner where I had an egg white veggie omelet and whole grain toast.

the cat statue on Cat Hill

Me and Cindy

me and my son Jake

      Yesterday I had some frustrations regarding finances and a trip to my primary physician. I am not impressed with my primary physician which is why I go to my chiropractor. When Dr. B. suggested that I go to my regular doctor for blood tests just to rule out some reasons my weight loss has slowed down. So when I spoke to my doctor, I told him that I would like him to look into some things regarding my weight loss. Do you know what he said to me? "Well I could refer you to some surgical weight loss professionals". I felt like I was slapped in the face. This is after explaining that I am a Weight Watcher and a runner. I told him that the only way I would do such a thing is if my organs were failing and I had no other choice. Also for the record my thyroid is fine and I was not anemic, he just neglected to let me know these results from my last tests less than a year ago.
       So both those things really pissed me off. I had to stop at the grocery store on my way home for something to cook for dinner and I find myself in the baking aisle holding a can of cake frosting, thinking about baking cupcakes for the guys. At that moment I had an epiphany. I started to think real hard about which frosting I was choosing and how good it would taste and how I would allow myself a cupcake and I saw myself sitting there with several cupcake wrappers and icing all over my face. I realized I was setting myself up for a serious binge. When I make cupcakes for the guys I do not eat one or I allow myself one and track it but I knew right there in Pathmark that if I purchased that icing and went home an baked them, I was going to eat until I was numb from my aggravation. I put down the icing and walked away.
         I blog all of this to say that you may have a bad day where everything seems to go wrong and you want to numb yourself with food. When I finish a race I feel like I can eat a buffet but then I go for the simple breakfast at a diner even though I have many activity points at the time. I say all this to say that when all of the food wrappers are cleared I would feel bad if I went overboard . One feeling was good and celebratory and the other was aggravating and depressing. Food would have fit in to each situation but it did not have to. This does not mean that I am cured  of overeating because I still have to eat food and make decisions. But this means that there are these moments of clarity that you can use to make better choices. I was right to be upset about yesterday and I was right to be celebratory about the race. They were right emotions but the wrong would have been to use overeating to cap them off.
         I saw something on one of those OWN shows with Iyanla Vanzant called STOP which stood for;
S - Stop
T - Take three deep breaths and smile in your body
O - Observe what's happening in your body
P - Proceed now with kindness and compassion

Bobism
I don't have trouble eating. It's the stopping.

Let's Get Serious

              I am always talking about running in my blogs lately (and probably always will). But I will take a step back from that today for a good reason. I need to say that running is not everything. Clutch my pearls, I cannot believe I just typed that statement.  The truth is while running is a fabulously fun, meditative, power driven, strength building exercise, there are other things I should be doing with this body I am trying to whip into shape. In my struggle for running power and glory, I neglected to cross train. I stopped riding my bike (forgive me Sheryl), lifting weights, using DVDs for aerobics and yoga.
               I have written in previous blogs about my visits to Dr. B.'s office on Tuesday. He is my chiropractor and in his office we practice wellness care. I keep him up to date on all my activities, eating habit and challenges. I also ask his advice when I feel injured and about how to treat myself so that I can heal and get back to running. I used to see Dr. B. right before Tuesday Night Happy Hour Weight Watchers meetings with Melanie the great. I used to run in, get therapy and run to my weigh-in. But a funny thing happen after Tuesday Night Happy Hour became Wednesday Night Happy Hour(s). I was no longer in a rush to leave and Dr. B. asked me if I wanted to workout on the Total Gym machine in his office.
               I had no idea what to do with this machine. The extent of my workouts are cardio and free weights. So he started me on a few easier ( okay maybe not so easy) exercises. I started out just doing what I could and then eventually added on more repetitions and other workouts. Today I had a super workout.  I went straight to work on the routine he planned for me. I was able to push myself with few breaks in between and when I was finished I felt like I had a truly good workout. Here is my workout prescribed by Dr. B.;
3 sets of 12- upright rows
3 sets of 12- seated rows
3 sets of 12 - dip position leg lifts
3 sets of 12 - military press
3 sets of 12 - jack knifes
3 sets of 12- overhead triceps curls with 10lb weight
3 sets of 12 - front lifts with 20lb kettle bell
3 sets of 20 - knees together squats with biceps curls using two 7lb weights
3 sets of 20 - knees outward squats with chest presses using two 7lb weights
3 sets of  planks ( aiming for 40 seconds but right now I can only do 12-15 seconds)

I have another WW profit from Wednesday Night Happy Hour meeting named Joey. He has been coming up with some sayings that definitely resonate the spirit of WW meetings.

Joeyism;
Eat right, exercise more and share my experiences VS Eat poorly, not exercise and keep it to myself.

Bobism;
If you're gonna leave, walking outside is good.

Move (Get Out The Way)

       For some people, the ability to move comes easy. Some folks are born athletic and are blessed with speed. Some are dancers and exhibit grace and poise. Some are adventurous and daring performing feats that require courage and balance. For some of us moving did not come naturally. A person could feel clumsy and awkward, slow and lumbering and fearful.
        I can identify with all. As a small child I went to dancing school and learned how to tap dance. I remember riding my bike down steep hills without holding on to the handle bars. I was not paying attention to traffic either.  In junior high I placed softball and was a cheerleader. So why, when I was on the right path to being an active person, did I give it up. I have no idea. I remember once in college having a friend who said she was going running. I told her that I could run but I didn't know why I don't anymore. We ran around the reservoir one afternoon and I surprised myself that I could do it. We made plans to do it again sometime.  But I never ran again. Until now.

        I will not pretend that running now is not a conscious effort. Everyday that I decide to run I have to talk myself into it. I have to crawl out of bed at some crazy hour, sometimes in total darkness, to go running around a track until I am sweaty and exhausted and for some particular reason a little bit high and proud that I have done it.
       I have been on my WLJ( Weight Loss Journey) for a mighty long time and I know that it takes as long as it takes. That can be frustrating. So I have turned my attention to things I can control within reason like running. Every time I run an event I get a non-scale victory that no one can take back (not even the scale).

        Then there is cross training. While I have been concentrating on running, I have allowed other skills to lapse like biking and strength training. My chiropractor, Dr. B. has been working on the latter.  He has one of those Total Gym machines attached to the wall in his office. Most of the time I would run in and have adjustments on my back and massage therapy and run to my next event "Tuesday Night Happy Hour". When TNHH became Wednesday Night Happy Hour, I told Dr. B. that I am not in a rush. Do you know what he said to me? Carin, would you like to work out a little bit? Sure, why not!  It started out with some strength training exercises to help strengthen my aching back. But then it progressed to my personal strength lunges. Not exactly a fave but my legs have always been my strongest muscles and I think we tend to enjoy things that we do well. Now he is working on my core  ( the gut that won't go away).

THIS WEEK'S ACTIVITY
Wed.- walk 30 min
Thurs. - Richard Simmons DVD- 50 min
Fri. - jog 4.1 miles 1hr 9min
Sat. - Jog/hill drills 3 miles - 57 min
Sun - no formal exercise- did laundry
Mon. jog 3 miles - 55 min
Tues. - Strength training w/ Dr. B

                I usually just add a Bobism but this week I would like to add some quotes that I thought are both funny and motivating.
"I can resist everything except temptation"~ Oscar Wilde~
"I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore I am perfect." ~ unknown~
"The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time" ~ Joe Girard~
"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal"~ Henry Ford~
"Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself"~unknown~
"Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things when they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step."~Lao Tzu~
"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop." ~Confucius~

" One of the things I hate the most about tracking is that it forces me to know what I did eat."~Bob~

Today Was A Good Day

Running

Cindy and I before the race

              Last night I set my alarm for 4:30am so that I could get up and go on a morning run. To my surprise, I jumped up as soon as my alarm went off. I fed the cats, brushed my teeth and put on my workout clothes without waking my old man. Then I grabbed my MP3, keys and phone and went out the door. I was so proud of myself for actually leaving the house before 5am and not procrastinating like I usually do. But on this day I did not. I got on the elevator and went straight out the door into the darkness, into the ..........rain. That's right. I was so gun ho on running I didn't even look out of the window to see if it was raining. So what's a girl to do. She's awake, she's dressed, what should she do? I ran around my building for a long as I could stand it. Then when I could not stand it anymore, I tested the rain. It was light so I figured I could take a chance. I ran out to the track and ran around the track twice; counting six skunks in my path along the way( yes I gave them a wide berth). I ran all the way back home to get ready for work.

Hills

Hills


               A long time ago I would not believe that I would become someone who wants to run so badly that she would run in the dark or in the rain or with skunks. But it seems that I have become that person. I did not become that person overnight. I was a walker. I would walk as often as I could. I lost weight walking. But after reading an article that said if you can walk for miles, you can run, I thought can I really run? I mean running is only for thin people, isn't it? I did take myself out to the track and run around for thirty seconds at a time in the middle of my walking laps and I found out that I could run.              I will not lie to you. Running is hard. You will have aches and pains after running. You will need to make sure that your sneakers are in good condition. I found myself purchasing running gear. First there was clothes with wicking, followed by running hat, spi-belt, and even more running clothes. I also purchased a subscription to Runners World magazine, downloaded a book about running for women on my nook and joined the NY Road Runners Club so that I would have access to races.  Signing up for and then running races is a good way to keep myself on track. I know this from experience because after a race last September, I did not run again until January when I remembered that there was an upcoming race in April. I have been running ever since.  I try to run three days a week for training. I also try to run the distance of the race on the weekend.

Mile 2 marker

              Last Saturday, my friend Cindy and I ran in the Percy Sutton 5K in Harlem. I had been running for 3.2 miles to train and Cindy had been doing "hill drills" for hills. But two days before the 5K, I found out that some of this race had hills. So I decided that since I did not train for them, I would walk them. But that is not what happened. I found myself attempting to run up the hill in my slow running way. I told myself that I could stop when it became too much. To my surprise, I made it up the first hill. Right around the corner came a second hill. I was feeling exuberant so I ran up that hill too. Not terribly far away was another hill. I did not make it all the way up that hill. The only reason I kept running is because I heard one of the race volunteers say that the water station was up ahead. I forgot to take a picture of Mile Marker 1 because of thirst. All of that happened during the first mile. After the water, I just kept on running. On the last mile or so to the end came the downhill portion of the race. I remember my friend Cindy saying "going downhill is so much fun". It is not. It is a crash course in balance and pounding on your muscles and feet to keep from rolling down the hill like a tumbleweed. But I did keep on running down hills and the blocks to the finish line.

3 mile marker

             After the race, Cindy and her old man Pete made me climb more stairs than I do in a week to get to the other side of the park for breakfast. Do you know what I got for all this torture besides a bagel, a t-shirt and a piece of fruit that disintegrated in my backpack?  I found out that I shaved four minutes off of my previous 5K's including my training. I found that even though I did not do hill drills ( though I will start them now), I prepared my body to do the best that it could and it did even better than I thought. Now there is something to say about good running days and bad running days. The four miler in July almost broke my spirit because I had convinced myself that I sucked. But I also kept on training , knowing that another race was a month away.

           Running has become fun to me. It hurts. My podiatrist is making a fortune keeping my feet pretty. I own quite a few running clothes but not enough in pink. I have to talk myself out of bed and out on to the track to train. I have to suffer anxiety the days leading into and the day of the race. I constantly worry about whether folks are laughing at me or cheering me on when they see me running. Most of the time I try to stay in a focus/tunnel vision like mode when I am running. And of course there must be music even if it has to be in one ear because it is five o'clock in the morning and a skunk wants to cross my path. I feel the pull in my chest when I am doing walking laps. A voice in my head is saying run! But I am trying not to create injury because I want the running to continue.

Last Week's Activity

• Wed.- walk 30 min
• Thurs. - jog 42 min
• Fri. - walk 40 min
• Sat. - walk 1hr 20 min
• Sun. - Jog 41 min
• Mon. - walk with 3lbs weights 1hr 8min
• Tues. 40 min weight training

Bobism: I have a friend who puts her fork down in the middle of a meal and says she's done and I don't understand that.

Come See About Me

           Last week's WW meeting topic was about drinks and drinking smarter. I rarely go drinking. But when I do, I prefer to go to parties or clubs with dancing. Dancing is a wonderful way to earn activity points which you can cash in for a drink. Trickle down econimics , no?  My beverage plan goes like this.
Breakfast- coffee
am snack - water
Lunch - water
pm snack - water
Dinner- water w/sugar free flavor packet
           I know it sounds a little boring but I actually like water. I also taught my sons to like water since they were babies. My fridge is full of everyone's individual water bottles. When you open the fridge in my home, a bottle of water will reach out to greet you. We bring bottles of water to the movies and  to baseball games. I do occasionally drink diet soda. Soda tastes like a cocktail to me now. It is used as a treat. I do not drink fruit juice but I do eat fruit. What I need to learn how to add to my good health guidelines is some milk. I have fat free Lactaid milk in my fridge but I rarely remember to drink it. I use fat free milk to make oatmeal for breakfast most days but never pour myself a glass.

The infamous Bob

   We had out August 2012 5K Social Walk recently.This month's route was a straight line up and then down Park Avenue. The straight line was Bob's idea but it turned out to be an interesting one. I had no idea there was so much artwork on the median on Park Avenue. While gabbing away waiting for the light to change a gentleman stepped in between Tam and I. He politely offered his arm and said we were welcome to walk with him. But we told him he was welcome to walk with us for 3.1 miles. He thought we were kidding until we informed him that we do this every month. He applauded us but said there was no way he could walk that far.

golden beets

           This week at the farmers market I found golden beets. I cannot wait to try them.









This Week's Activity
Wed. - 40 min walk
Thurs. - 5K Social Walk
Fri. - 40 min walk
Sat. - jog/walk 42 mins
Sun - walk 1hr 14 min
Mon. - jog 54 min
Tues. - 45 min strength training

Bobism:When I get home at night and suddenly feel hungry, I tell myself that I don't need to eat. But then I talk back to myself.

Can't Let Go

         Last week was a little hard. I had so many things going on and a couple of late nights. It can be difficult to juggle work life, night life, family life and working out. What's a girl to do? This girl can't let go. I told you that I have been jogging so that I can keep up my running skills for races. But last weekend my knee started to hurt. I was nervous because last year I sprained my ankle and was not able to run all summer. So I pulled back on running and did some dvd workouts and walked. I also went to my doctor and asked him to check out my knee to see if there was any serious damage. He said that I had a strain. Before visiting him, I purchased a heat wrap that you can wear for several hours during the day and a pressure point knee band. He said that I was doing the right thing and that I should try to run now that I had given my knee a rest. I'm glad to say that my knee works.

Cindy & Tam calculating points

Tam, Cindy & Dena

          Two weeks ago after the meeting I went on a "field trip" with my friend Cindy to Trader Joe's. I heard about this grocery store for many years, especially in Weight Watchers meetings. But Trader Joe's does not have a location where I live. Bob was shocked that I had never been to the store. We tend to shop where with live . And those of us who don't drive have to take advatage of our neighborhood grocery stores. Cindy, Tamra, Dena and I did a "field trip to Trader Joe's after the last Wednesday night meeting.


           What I love about stores like Trader Joe's is the way they display the foods we should be eating. Produce is in your face the moment you walk in the door. Before you know it, you have a cart full of fruits and vegetables and no room for anything else. Nothing wrong with that. Everyone should experience shopping like that. Sure, it's easy to run into a restaurant and pick up food but to me there is something to getting ideas by holding beautiful, colorful and fresh fruits and veggies.


swiss chard

orange, yellow, purple & white carrots

           This brings me to another fun field trip to my local farmers market. It's only open on Saturdays through November. I like looking for veggies that are not sold in the local market like multi-colored carrots and the many sizes shapes and colors of potatoes. Last year the corn on the cobs was so sweet and fresh that I ate it raw like a treat. 


white eggplant

Last Week's Activity
Wednesday - some walking
Thurs.- jog 3 miles
Fri. - 30 min dvd with weights
Sat. - jog 3 miles
Sun. - walking
Mon. - bike 30 min
Tues. - Workout on Total Gym in doctor's office

Bobism: "I always weigh myself in my head before I get on the scale to see if the scale gets it right because I know what I did"

Run To Me

      I know I have not blogged in a while but here goes. I was off track for a while there. I was on a roller coaster of weight gain and loss ( more gain than loss). I found myself a little discouraged. I was also overwhelmed with my life . Jake was in little league and I wanted to go to all of his games.Unfortunately a lot of the games fell on my meeting days and I missed quite a few meetings. Jake made it to the championships but my weigh-ins did not. Work has been out of control busy too. But these things happen all of the time. We are all busy and we all have a lot of things on our plates.
    I got complacent. I was not careful about what I ate. I ate things that I normally avoid. Not that you cannot eat almost everything on Weight Watchers because you can. You need to have control. If you have a day where you eat junk food, then you need to be more observant for the rest of the week. I was slowly giving myself bigger portions of food. And I was treating myself to snacks that I probably should not. I even started a Snickers peanut butter habit. Those things are so good they should come with a warning label.
     My workouts suffered as well. I was running three days a week to keep in running shape for my races. And then the heatwave struck. I was getting in quick runs in the evening but running when it's ninety degrees is not good. I seem to have forgotten that I have a stash of workout DVDs at home and a workout is a workout no matter how small or how hard. It was as if I forgot all of my WW principles. I needed help. When you find yourself in a deep hole, stop digging.  With little league regular season over, I started attending meetings again. I actually attend two meetings back to back. I downloaded "Weight Loss Boss" by WW CEO David Kirchoff which is a really cool book about how he dealt with his weight loss.
   I started paying close attention to what I was putting in my mouth. I am talking portions and types. And yes I have not consumed a Snickers peanut butter bar in weeks. That's not to say that there is not a bar in my freezer as I type, but it is there if I would like to have one not need one. It is obviously a trigger and I need to learn how to make it a food, not a drug or a reward. I also started running as regular as I possibly can. For me this could mean running three days in a row by getting up early in the morning before it's way too hot. I also have to accept that I am not up to my usual running yet and add walking in between sometimes. And on the days when the weather is not my friend, I whip out a DVD and get in a thirty minute workout. It must be working because after five weeks of gaining, I lost weight two weeks in a row.
       This week's meeting topic was about how each of us can achieve our weight loss goals. There was a phrase I COULD ACHIEVE MY WW GOALS IF ONLY... For me I need to focus on the tangible things like workouts and portion control. Also to engage in "positive self talk"; something I was lacking during my downhill slide. My WW leader Melanie said that people have all the resources they need and that we just need to identify them.

Me after the June race

Me after the July race

     I am still trying to do a race event almost every month.  Here is what I've accomplished so far; March - 2 5K's, June - 4 miler and July - 4 miler. These are things I never thought I would do but now I do. I even convinced my son Jake to run a kids race too and he liked it and said he would do it again.

Jake after the kids race

THIS WEEK'S ACTIVITY
Wed.- walk 40 mins
Thurs. - walk 60 mins
Fri. - 30 min DVD
Sat - Run 3.2 miles
Sun. - Run 2.4 miles
Mon- 30 min DVD + strength training
Tues. - Run 2.4 miles in morning + bike 30 min in evening

     Bobism: I used to eat salad so I could have salad dressing.

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

   This week has been totally crazy. It started out with me stressing over how I will modify my schedule so that I can attend a Melanie WW meeting but it ended up being more. It was my week back from being on vacation. I went from getting lots of sleep, sunshine and exercise to a crazy week of computer issues (my Outlook crashed), lots of scheduling and a weight gain ( 2+lbs). I compounded my confusion by not packing lunch. I had some really good eating days and a couple binging episodes.
    I had some good things too like our monthly WW 5K Social walk around the Village with my homies, seeing the new Steve Harvey movie Think Like A Man, and I ran a 5K with Cindy, Nina and Nina's hubby Joe.
     So let's talk about the bad first. I binged on Wednesday on dough. I had pastries and I even ate a bagel and cream cheese for lunch. The crazy part is after all of that I went home ran 2.4 miles and ate a sensible dinner of baked fish and roasted veggies. I tried something new with the fish by the way. I usually squeeze lime and sprinkle kosher salt, garlic powder and black pepper but I wanted to add a little more without going too far. I drizzled a little honey mustard and a little bit of whole wheat bread crumbs on top of that and baked it for about 20 minutes. The guys loved it.  I had a Greek salad instead of my usual veggie burger and french fries after our social walk. I couldn't finish the salad for some reason I was full ( I heard Little Balloon Guy say enough).

             On Saturday I packed 94% fat free popcorn and two tangerines for Jake's Little League game. Jake's team won 16-1. Yaay. Later my old man and I went to the movies and I packed more fat free popcorn. For the first time in my life I was paying close attention to the movie and  clutch my pearls, did not eat a thing. We paid for that right after. We ordered Chinese food before we left and knew that we had dinner waiting at home but we stopped in the supermarket and got the insane munchies buying Entemanns cake, ice cream and cake. Of course once we nuked and ate our Chinese food, we did not eat those things. It was amazing how easy it was to buy them when hungry.

        On Sunday I got up early to run a 5K with my friends Cindy, Nina and Joe. It's funny that Cindy warned me that there were a lot of hills on this course (she ran it last year). She was not exaggerating because the hills kept coming all the way through this race. I thought I could run up them but half way through the first hill I lost my stamina and realized I would have to walk them. But I did run the rest of the race and I feel really happy with that. But now I realize I need to practice running up hills. I finished the race in 52+ minutes.  Later that night I would eat some cake and ice cream.
         Today I found myself not managing my feelings. I felt a little frustrated and ate chips for lunch. So I am not looking for any miracle weigh-in on Wednesday Night Happy Hour. I realize that I am human and make crazy choices from time to time. I cannot punish myself for giving in to cravings for good sweet, gooey or salty crunchy stuff. The difference between me now and me then is the ability to push the reset button and get back to my program so that the scale can have mercy on me. I have things to do and 5K's to run for goodness sake.  By the way, I treated myself to a non-food victory; a new MP3 clip-on. Finally I am out of the Stone Age.