Monday, October 24, 2011

Take A Chance On Me

     So I have been a little busy lately and fell out of some of my routine a little bit.  Last week I went up .08lbs on the scale which never makes me happy but I know that I will figure out what will work better for me in the long run. Let's talk about a fear. I fear gaining back all the weight that I lost.  There! It's out there in the universe.

   The week before last I was working out with my fitness ball, doing cruches and leg lifts and lifting weights. But after our monthly 5K, I strained something in my right groin. I have been limping ever since.  I spoke to my doctor and he told me to lay off the workouts and get some rest. Unfortunately, life does not always allow for getting rest. Two days later I adopted a kitten. My older cat Abby was not happy about this. So there has been a lot of cat psychology and cat babysitting any time I was home.  My family and I went to Comic Con which was an all day trip. And then back to work. Not much rest going on there either. So I'm a little behind in doing "me".

      The 5K to the United Nations was great. It rained lightly half way through it but we had fun on a different path leading back to Patrick Conway's.

       Then there was Comic Con which was so cool. A lot of people were wearing costumes of their favorite characters. I admire the thin women wearing the really skimpy costumes. I whispered to Darren at one point that as soon as I lose my weight, I'm going to wear a skimpy costume too.

       I had a conversation with my doctor about my current weight loss struggles. He and his team are going to work with me to see if there is a reason I am not losing weight like I was last year. They are going to run some tests and design a program for me without jeopardizing my Weight Watchers program. In a previous blog I mentioned that fixing me is going to be like the 70's show "The Bionic Woman" because I was going to be taken apart and put back together. Now it's actually coming true. Usually I list my activities for the week but I have not been exercising for the last week and a half. I would like to note two different activities and the points they garnished.

October Monthly 5K to the United Nations - all day + 5K - 7.26 miles = 11pts.
Comic Con( walking to , around and back) - 8.99 miles - 14pts.

       Please meet my little crazy kitten currently known as Harry Potter .

Monday, October 10, 2011

All That I'm Living For

        Somehow I think that last week's blog gave folks the idea that I'm giving up, but I'm not. Sometimes I have to give myself the chance to be angry or sad and usually I'm pretty good the next day. I have always lived my life that way. I have been through some experiences and have felt really down about them but usually I go through all the stages in one night. You know denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance? I can actual work my way through them in one pity party, take a deep breath and move on. Truthfully, life is short. You have to live it. You fall down, ache, heal, learn something from it and keep on moving. I come from a dramatic family (Jake is an academy award winning actor in the making).
         This is exactly what I did last week. I went on the hunt for "getting back my MOJO". I was on a great trajectory for a while. Losing , losing , losing weight. But it seems I tripped over something and lost the path and I have been wandering through the forest with Hansel and Gretel trying to find my breadcrumb trail ( note to self: breadcrumbs make bad markers).  So last week after my .4lbs gain I started researching different way to get back on track. I decided to pick a couple of things to do a little different to see if they make or break me. I went to my chiroprator appointment and asked him to show me some exercises that would be good for me. He handed me over to my massage therapist. One of the things we worked out with was a fitness ball. I never worked out with one before. She showed me some stretches, some core exercises and lifts. She also had me lift some weight and do some leg lift repetitions. Do you know what I found out? I found out that even though I can walk for miles, bike for miles and run a four mile race.. toning could still kick my butt. I was straining so hard to do these things and I was amazed at my weakness.  So I purchased a fitness ball ( and yes it is pink). I started working out some evenings while watching television and I like it.
        I also added some toning before bed almost every night;20 leg lifts here, 100 cruches there right before bed. It does not work me up. I just turn over and go to sleep.
       At our weekly meeting last Tuesday, I lost the .4lbs that made me so angry. One step forward at a time. The meeting topic was using all the tools in your ...
WEIGHT LOSS TOOL BOX( see if you recognize your favorites from the list we compiled)
-Food scale, measurings cups and spoons
-Lunch box
-Will power
           Try to use whatever you have to help you along. Try new things to see if something else works. Get mad. Binge a little( I mean once) and then get right back on the wagon. This wagon should take you where you need to be and at the end of your journey, the person you want to be. Not what someone tells you you need to look like and not what some magazine says you should wear. Just be the You that you can live with . And laugh. Laugh a lot. I heard it burns calories.

Tues. 9/27 - all day - 6pts
Wed. 9/28 -  all day - 3pts
Thurs. 9/29 - all day - 2pts
Fri. 9/30 - all day - 4pts
Sat. 10/1 -all day - 3pts
Sun 10/2 - 0pts
Mon. 10/3 - all day - 4pts
TOTAL = 22pts ( I consider this a rest and reflect week)

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Hotel California

            I chose Hotel California which is one of my favorite songs from the 70's. I know it's really about a drugs but I sometimes feels that it can pertain to anything. My favorite line is "you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave". That's how I felt this week with my weight loss journey. At my meeting last Tuesday, I gained .4lbs. I know it sounds like a little amount to a woman who weighs over 200lbs but I was disappointed that there was not a loss. I had been running around busting my butt and still no check in the mail. I admit that I sunk down into PLOMS mode ( poor little old me).  I thought about feeding my anger because I do have "manage my feelings" problems but I didn't do it. I didn't step out of my funk either. I feel like I'm at the Hotel California. That I can die at any moment if I want to but I can never lose weight.
             Then one day last week while I was tracking what I eat in ETools and I clicked into success stories. I read a few success stories about people with a lot of weight to lose. I even made some notes;
-Do one small thing, burn a few calories here and there
-When you get up in the morning and before you go to bed  at night, take two  minutes to do some crunches, lunges or push ups. Overtime these haboits will add up to a stronger core and firmer arms and legs.
-Works out three times a week and walks almost every night.
-The missing link was portion control. I was eating two to three portions per meal.
-Do 20 "guy push ups" and 200 crunches to lose loose skin.
                While my problems did not go away totally, I did feel a little better. I started to think about reframing what I do to see if I could get a different result.
           At the Tuesday Night Happy Hour WW meeting, my leader Melanie went over the topic of why we are in WW to begin with? Of course I was sitting there with smoke coming out of my ears wondering the very same thing.  Melanie read an part of WW founder Jean Nidetch's autobiography when she talks about the moment of realizing that she really needed to lose weight. I sat there and tried to think of mine. Of course I had many of those moments. For instance, looking around at a company meeting and finding out that I was the biggest person there. Or when I went for a GYN exam and the doctor ( who coincidentally is the doctor who delivered me into this world) asked me if I was interested in having the bypass surgery. Or when I found myself huffing and puffing while trying to get to the bus stop one night after work. Or the time I was watching the Beyonce video, you know the one where she is in this little black leotard  doing a Bob Fosse-like routine and I said to myself, " I used to be cute like that".  I heard of a neighbor who had so many complications from the bypass surgery and eventually died leaving relatives to raise her young children. I had tried many diets and knew that it was financially impossible for me to pay for individual food to be delivered to me so I signed up for the last hope: Weight Watchers.  Here are a list of reasons that the TNHH group came up with;
1)Self -esteem
3)Health ( and /or body ease)
Tues. walk 30 plus blocks to office + all day = 9pts
Wed. all day - 3pts
Thurs. all day = 2pts
Fri.  all day - 4pts
Sat. half walk/half jog a 5K on track + running errands until 10pm - 13pts
Sun. walk 4 miles around track w/ hubby + laundry - 9pts
Mon. walk a 5K around track w/ hubby (jogged the last lap) - 8pts
TOTAL = 48 activity points