One Way Or Another

      Yesterday was Saturday and I spent a majority of my day laying in bed. I was not sick. I just wanted to lay around catching up on the shows in my dvr, knit a scarf for my hubby and flip through a magazine or two. While relaxing, the thought that I need to work out was always on my mind. Usually, I like to get up early and do it first thing in the morning, have a nice breakfast in bed and relax. It was as though a little bird would pop up and go "did you workout yet?  what are you going to do? run? walk?" I would keep telling the little bird to be quiet. I am trying to relax after all. There is nothing wrong with that. After several hours in my nightgown and multiple episodes of The View, I started to think about going for a run. As the sun began to set, I realized that I had wasted a perfectly sunny day in bed. I got up and slowly put on my running gear. I also started to channel surf to check out the weather. I found this episode on OWN about a man with a tumor growing out of his face who had to travel from his small town in Portugal to Chicago where surgeons would remove this tumor. It was so interesting. I was mesmerized . I wanted to know how it would end. I pressed record and then sat there and watched it to the end.
      My hubby came along and started watching too. Then he noticed that I was dressed and asked me what was I doing. I am going for a run I guess, I replied. And that's when I realized, I was negotiating putting off my run. Shame on me. Here was this man who had been living with a tumor covering his whole face to the point that he had to hold it up to breathe, who would travel around the world to try to have some semblance of normalcy and all I had to do was roll out of bed, throw on clothes and run. And I did. All through my run I thought about how lucky I am that I had two working legs to run with. I started thinking about my journey with weight loss and how I figured that I wouldn't run until I was thin. But here I was all two hundred plus pounds of me running non stop for 3.18 miles. I felt great. I did not want to collapse. I felt empowered. I  even went to the grocery store before going home. I was lucky.
     I have been pushing myself almost everyday to do something whether it's walking a couple of miles or running to train for the upcoming 5K in March. I started to keep a log on an excel spreadsheet to encourage me to keep it moving. Of course I also log in my journal along with what I have eaten that day.
      Last weigh-in, I was a little disappointed about losing .02lbs. I think it is because I keep expecting the scale to reward me with the spoils of my hard work. But the truth of it is, I am lucky that I can do this at all. I have lost lots of weight. I started jogging. I started biking. I do monthly 5K's with my friends. I got my family to eat brown bread, rice and pasta. Sometimes I fall of the wagon,  but I get right back on. I am lucky.
     Years ago, I was not so lucky. I had a better body and I threw it away in depression and despair of things not going my way. Well guess what? There are still a lot of things that do not go my way. But I am not going to numb myself  with food anymore. I am not going to avoid activity. I am going to use this body for all it's worth and I am going to have some fun while doing it. And I am not going to let the scale control the goodness I feel for the changes I made. I will still weigh-in every week.
     I found a Facebook page and blog of a man who also decided not to wait until he is thin to run. This is something that was unheard of years ago but now this is the new reality folks. Use it or lose it. His blog is http://bigrunnertraining.wordpress.com/2012/01/21/runningwalking-vs-treadmill-a-few-thoughts/.

Bobism: It doesn't get any easier. We get better at it.

Wishing and Hoping

       The definition of renewal is to make new or as if new again. Another definition is to take up again. I am renewing my resolve as a Weight Watcher. I have been driving myself crazy trying to figure out what I did wrong last year but I see now that I may never figure out exactly what went wrong. What I do know is that today is a new day to get it right. It is a tradition in January for people to make resolutions about what they are going to do . I used to feel bad if I broke my resolution and then go about destroying the progress that I did make. Make sense? It something that happens. I stopped having the New Year's resolution years ago so that I would not screw it up. I decided that I would do what I can, the best that I can. Just try to do be or be better in little ways.
       So I put on my thinking cap. What can I do better? First of all I can track. I did not track the last two weeks in December. I know better. I may not lose weight every week but I almost always gain when I stop tracking regularly. I tracked everything on Monday, January 2nd and I have tracked everyday ever since.  I even pre-tracked a couple of days.
     On Wednesday, I got off the bus almost two miles from work. I did this on Thursday and Friday as well. Getting in some form of working out several days a week is non-negotiable.  I agreed to a challenge with Cindy to try to do forty miles in the month of January. I even created a spreadsheet to log my activity and mileage everyday and as of tonight I clocked 35.97 miles so far.
       I registered for the first formal 5K of the year in March with my WW homies Cindy and Tam. In anticipation, I threw myself out of bed early to train on Saturday morning. I ran 2.39 miles in 38 minutes which is not bad since I have not been jogging lately. And oh yes I am sore. I still walked for miles later that day running errands clocking 16,108 steps on my pedometer.
       I spent my resting time reading all of the Fitness magazines I have been neglecting. I still have plenty more to read. I also read some success stories on the E-Tools website. These tools have been encouraging me to get back in the game. They also provided me with alternative food ideas.  I also asked my hubby to take a picture of me in bike shorts and tank top so that I can log my progress going forward.

        I purchased the new Power Foods cookbook and made one of the recipes. It was the Chipotle-Roasted Drumsticks with Succotash Salsa (my family  did not like losing the feeling in their mouths- we will not be using the other can of chipotle in adobo sauce). However I loved the succotash salsa which was very easy to make and used it as a side dish for fish on another night.


Chipotle roasted drumsticks with succotash salsa

       Last meeting I gained 1.8lbs. There is always the chance that the scale will not reflect the good week that I feel I've been having. I will not know until Tuesday. But I feel euphoric and even a little hyper.  So this renewal for my love for the program has been good for me.

Bobism: It's simple. Don't eat that, eat this. Move!

Daydream Believer

       The other day I had this action dream where I was one of those tough hard core spy chicks. Needless to say, I was thin in this dream. That does not mean that I will not kick your ass but I dream in thin. If I dream of myself in thin, then I obviously want to be.... right.

        The new WW commercial shows J Hud in both overweight and thin. It tells you to believe in yourself and you can do it. I know I can do it but can I do it. This year my journey has been a little unsteady and I gained weight. Not all of the weight back but enough to piss me off. In the weight loss journey rules, weight gain can be interpreted different ways. It can mean ..oh man I stink at this, pass me a Twinkie.  It can go.. obsessive compulsive exercise until I sprain something. It can go.. I'm trying really hard but I'm apprehensive and I gain more than I lose. It can also go... well I blew that so I'll just pick myself up, dust myself off, start all over again ( I did that one a few times this year).

One day this will be my before picture

         But sometimes I wonder if I really believe in my ability to do it. But every bump in the road is a lesson that I learn. Also, I actually do know that I can do it because I do not weigh what I did when I started. So in a round about way I guess I believe.
         I am sorry for not blogging for a few weeks. I got sidetracked by the most wonderful time of the year. I gained the weight that I lost strength training and then lost it again and then gained .08lbs last week. But I have to say that I keep at it. In a previous meeting we were talking about moving to the tune of 14 activity points a week. To some, that may not sound like much but to me it sounds doable. I was on vacation for the last couple of weeks and I challenged myself to get out there and walk a couple of miles as often as possible ( Christmas shopping errands count). I found that most days of the week, this was an easy task.  The weather went up and down. On the cold days I remembered my favorite Bobism "there's no bad weather, only bad clothes". I threw on an extra shirt, hat and gloves and went outside. All in all, I walked a 5K or more five out of seven days a week.

          So what just happened there? I made a step out of my comfort zone of working out indoors during the winter and to a walk on the wild side( I couldn't resist) and clutch my pearls if it didn't feel great. I quite often brought my hubby along for the walk.
           This week the year starts a new and thousands of others will be making the pledge to lose weight. Although losing weight is my ultimate goal,  I think it's more important that I changed my life instead. Last year I ran my very first official 5K in April, sprained my ankle training for my second one and ran my first 4 Mile event in September . This year I predict more 5K's, more fitness goals and losing more weight. That almost sounds like I believe.