Maniac

            I realize that I am about to date myself but I loved the movie "Flashdance". One of my favorite scenes is the workout scene that the heroine does alone to the song "Maniac". Alex comes home from work, throws on her workout clothes and sweats to death. This is in addition to riding her bike to and from work and dancing her butt off at a night club at night.
           Well, I don't do all those things but I do take a certain amount of satisfaction at working up at sweat. When I was not working out as much, I was feeling tired and run down. Now that I have been challenging myself to get in workouts again, I feel better. I have been doing some strength training and walking a little extra. I feel my muscles becoming toned. I have a little extra energy. I feel a little more upbeat. And just like the character of Alex, my cats love to watch me sweat.
            I am not a ballerina or a stripper. I am just an ordinary 45 year old woman with a weight problem. I am just trying to rev up my metabolism since it has decided to slow down to a crawl. I think it's actually working. I lost another pound last week. I am proud of that one pound. I put effort into it.      
           These days in WW meetings we talk about how to get through the holidays. We all have our issues about holidays. Mine is the stress of getting everything ready. The money, the shopping and the parties are way too much.  So here are some things you need to help you in your ...
HOLIDAY TOOLBOX
-Mental rehearsing
-Positive self talk
-Ask for help
-Reframing
-Take care of yourself
-Manage your thoughts
             The weather has been going up and down lately. It warm in the 60's some days and then in the 40's on others. I love it when it sunny and I feel like skipping down the street. But when it's yucky outside, I want to cuddle up and watch television. I like to walk and jog but they seem like things you should do when it warm out. I think that I need to reframing. I need to get out there and do the best that I can. My son Jake and I have been taking walks together on most of my days home. On Saturday and Sunday we can do it in the afternoon but on my work from home day, we wait until 5pm. Last Monday we were about a quarter of a mile from home when it started raining. I asked Jake if he wanted to go back home and he said no. I proceeded to warn him that we would be far away from home if it started raining harder and that it would be too late to go back. Jake held his ground and said that we should keep walking. Who was this brave little guy who scoffed at a few raindrops? I was so proud of him and a little ashamed of myself. Why you say? It's because I would have turned around and went back home. We both had on jackets with hoods. We were never going to be more that three miles from home. After my shame dissipated and I found myself with raindrops on my face, I realized that I needed to reframe my situation. I am not sugar, so I am not going to melt.
             
Bobism:  "There's no bad weather; just bad clothes"

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

        The definition of HABIT is a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.  Last week I gave up my habit of "no carbs after 3pm". It was NOT hard for me. The practice was not for me. I think that all throughout life we are sorting through various ideas, practices and hobbies in the hopes that something will fit. We want it to become a habit that will lead to a good outcome. This week I explored habit.
           I re-read the WW Getting Started booklet from cover to cover looking for the motivation that I had when the weight was coming off. Anyone who joins Weight Watchers should read this booklet. It will move you one way or another. You will feel inspired to make all of the right moves or you'll shun it, skipping through it with indignant sarcasm and a bunch of "yeah rights". I have done both. When I started WW years ago I was obsessed with the booklet(s). Waiting anxiously for the next pamphlet to tell me what do next on my journey. I tracked. I negotiated with when and how to eat. I went to meetings. I was a good girl. Then I got stuck. I don't mean "oops" stuck.  I mean Tatum stuck in the garage door in the first Scream movie stuck. The killer got me. I dropped out ( and kept paying WW). The weight came back.
          Round two: I came back to WW and it took a while to find the right meeting for my schedule. It took several leaders too. I realized that NEGLECT was not a great habit. I kept going to meetings and reading the booklets. And then I found the habits that helped me lose weight and made them habits. That worked for a while even during situations when I did not think it would.
           The previous paragraphs lead to Zero Point Weight Watchers garden vegetable soup. I made myself a pot and froze a few single cup servings. I also kept the remainder in a larger container in the fridge. The point of this procedure was to see if having a cup of soup before most meals kept me from overeating the meal itself. It worked. I will not say I am totally cured but this particular HABIT became my friend. There were a few times that I forgot to have soup right before a meal but I think I had already conditioned my brain to not request more.
          Another habit I developed through the encouragement of my chiropractor ans well as a challenge with my WW homies was strength training. I don't want you to picture me in the gym lifting giant barbells over my head. Clutch my pearls no! Four days a week, I either work out in my chiropractor's office with weights ( only on appointment day) or workout independently. When working out alone, I make a few conditions for myself.
1) I try to do what I can. This means that if I can do only ten stomach crunches. Then that's what I do.I set those limits for myself.
2) I will keep my commitment to myself. I'm worth it.
             These two habits probably helped me drop 1.4lbs.
           Thanksgiving is coming as it comes this time every year. My way of coping with Thanksgiving is to give in to the free-for -all just short of finding yourself in a fetal position on your bed after. Eat the foods that you do not eat everyday. Enjoy dessert as though you're a judge on the Food Network. The next day, press the reset button. Make the leftovers work for you as you would your everyday food.
Mel's quote of the week
"Satisfaction doesn't come from indulgence. It comes from achievement".

Bobism of the week ( I have two)
   "Thanksgiving was invented by historical figures and now all these people are pushing food at me because of it. All those people who started Thanksgiving are dead. Why am I being punished by something that was created a long time ago?"
      " More Yoga, more Zumba, less sofa"

Let Me Blow Ya Mind

         This week I went through a week of "no carbs after 3pm" which did nothing for me. I actually gained two pounds. I am not blaming the no carbs system but the absolute agony and stress of doing it. One of the components of a weight loss journey is managing your stress. I have never really been good at managing my stress. I am a little bit of a hoarder . I like to hold on to some things that are not really necessary and one of the most dangerous things I hold onto is stress. I take in things ( any situation fits here) and hold them inside. I rarely have a blow up or tantrum( except after a weight gain ha ha). I hear other folks problems and keep them to myself. When bad things happen to me I hold it deep inside and it festers there. Food was a good drug of comfort so I medicated and medicated. I also developed high blood pressure eventually as well a over a hundred pounds. I was trying to figure out what was going on with me to cause me to start gaining weight when I know how important it is for me to lose it. I think that I have figured out that my powers of stress hoarding and suppressing my problems that I did exactly what I did for years; neglect myself.
           So when I met with my chiropractor this week, I had a strength training workout with him and told him some of my problems while working out and realized that once again I have become weak and need to devote more attention to muscle building. He also told me that all of my blood work came out fine so I have no urgent medical problem causing my weight gain at this time.
             At the meeting after the meeting with my WW homies I had to realize that I am not particularly motivated which is a component of not being self aware of my so I am working on that. I was watching the Dr. Oz show that was about how to lose weight after 40. Sometimes I forget that I am 45 years old.  So the here are the tips that I got from the episode that I am going to try to keep up.
1)Strength training - after 40's need this because our metabolism has started to slow down. I cannot eat like I used to with few consequences and I need a little extra muscle to rev up my slow metabolism.
2) Eat soup before a meal. I made myself a big ole pot of WW Zero Point Soup recipe ( I call it 1pt soup and count it). Hopefully this will slow down the hunger I sometimes feel after eating a meal. I so admire people who feel satisfied after eating but I am not one of them at every meal. I will not have soup at breakfast by the way. LOL.
            Another tidbit I learned from the show was that as we grow older we have these cells that our brains are telling us that we are more hungry than we really should be. It's a hormone and stress thing and I need to work harder at controlling it.

Tam, Cindy and me at seminar

           This week my WW homies, Cindy, Tam and Bob went to a special WW seminar for people who have 75lbs or more to lose. This was a meeting with people who have successfully lost large amounts of weight and kept it off with WW.Because I have not lost all my weight after years of working at it, I went to see if there is more that I can do. There really is not a special trick to losing large amounts of weight. It's a lot of hard work, watching and accounting for what you eat, exercising, and figuring out what is going on with you (mentally and physically) that caused you to gain the weight in the first place. No tricks , no mirrors. I know that can sound discouraging and believe me I have been at this a while in my 40's, but I have to do this. No one can wave a magic wand or a magic scalpel and fix me. I have to fix me with the help of my magic WW fairies I call friends and the program.

Tam and Cindy

Melanie, Tam, Cindy and me

        There was a woman in the seminar who lost well over a hundred pounds in less than a year. She makes it sound easy ( although I am positive that it was not easy for her). Not everyone can have that result and I think that coming to grips with that is a first step for one that has so much to lose. Here are some takeaways from the meeting;
-MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS
-STOP THE FEAR OF BECOMING WHO YOU ARE INSIDE
-THINK LIKE AN ATHLETE
-THE PRIZE DOES NOT GO TO THE ONE WHO LOSES THE FASTEST. THE PRIZE GOES TO THE ONE WHO KEEPS IT OFF THE LONGEST.

Controversy

    The last week was okay. I went to the chiropractor last Tuesday and we started talking about making some changes in my weight loss journey. I typed a list of the things that I normally eat so that he could get an idea of the way I eat. He also told me about a diet plan where it would be beneficial to stop eating carbs after three pm. He brought this up to me and I felt alot of anxiety about this. I have been on the Atkins Diet , where you elimnate all carbs for a long time. So all I could think about were all the carbs I was going to miss.  Even though my doctor did not have a printout for the program, I decided that I would challenge myself to eliminating carbs after three pm. I started the next day.
Day One: I made four portions of pasta salad for the week so that I could pick up lunch and go. On my way to work I panic that I will not have carbs after three, so I purchase a bagel with cream cheese. Yeah that was a great idea for a unnecessary second breakfast. Then at 2pm I ceremoniously ate my pasta salad and a piece of fruit. At 2:55pm I had my WW snack bar. My WW homies cheered me on. My old man and co-workers thought I was nuts. Day One ended with a boiled egg snack.
Day Two: I did not want a bagel repeat so I had a little cereal and a banana at five am while I fed the cats. No bagel that day but the panic and ceremony at 2:55pm followed by WW bars and carb mourning.
Day Three: No second breakfast . Lunch was leftover spaghetti from dinner the family got to eat the night before. Nothing more sad than food envy.
Day Four: Saturday! It's the weekend baby! Yeah, happy it's the weekend but sleep late and don't have breakfast until 10am. Not really hungry until the panic time and I realize no more carbs until the next morning. I try to wolf down a couple of side dishes left over from the week. But I am really not that hungry so after a few frantic spoonfuls I dump it.
Day Five: Late but huge breakfast . I realize I had fun, used lots of points, don't sweat eating meat and broccoli for dinner.
Day Six: Work from home day so I eat regular breakfast, pasta salad lunch, meat and green veggie.

                   I  told the doctor last night that I tried the no carbs after 3pm program. He was amazed. He also said that he went over my food list I gave him last week and said there is nothing wrong with the things I eat. This week he has me on a colon cleanse. I tell him I will keep trying the no carbs after 3pm for a little while longer. He tells me that I could go off plan once and a while for a special event. Thank goodness he made this pronouncement just in time for the Monthly 5K Social Walk whick culminates at a pub with burgers and fries.  I get weighed in my Weight Watchers meeting last night and I  and find that I gained the .02lbs I lost last week. Go figure. Ironically, we had a discussion in the meeting about how the scale doesn't always reflect the week you think you had. Sure you tried something different, a new workout or you ran farther. Sure you ate only power foods or eliminated carbs after 3pm. Sometimes the scale cannot see everything that you did. You feel let down. But don't. The scale is just one piece of information. You know what you did and the effort you put forth.You also know that you feel better and your clothes fit better. You met the challenge.  I leave you with two quotes from this week's meeting.

FROM MELANIE'S QUOTE OF THE WEEK
" If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will see results."
"BOB"ISM OF THE WEEK
"The scale didn't reflect because it's stupid!"