Wednesday, May 5, 2010

This week I had a SUPER weigh in. We just love super weigh-ins because it shows that your hard work and commitment pay off. This week I lost 2.4 pounds bringing my total weight loss so far to 28.2 pounds. This brings me to my ten percent weight loss. I started Weight Watchers at 277.6 pounds about three years ago. Even though I chose Weight Watchers so that I could eat all kinds of foods, I allowed my self to lose and gain and lose and gain the same 20 pounds over and over. Now I have finally come to one of the first amazing hurdles of this journey. Losing ten percent of my weight. And I get a beatiful shining key ring.

Last week I talked about LEARNING FROM EXPERIENCE. This week I would like to talk about MANAGE YOUR THOUGHTS & TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Sometimes I feel depressed or really bad about myself. And I do allow myself the "pity party" time period. But I realy have to work hard on pushing past the negative thoughts. You see, I have been over 200 pounds since the birth of my first child in 1985. TWENTY-FIVE YEARS!!! Sure, I have been on many different diets ever since. One of the best ones was when I was turning 25 yo. I figured I need to make a change and I worked out like I was 25 yo. I worked out in the morning and in the evening. I ate pasta every night for dinner. I was made it down to 202 pounds and stayed there for about a year. And then I stopped working out. When I was oushing 30 yo, a group of friends and I joined a gym together so that we would be encouraged to work out more often if there was a chance that a buddy might go with you. I did not lose weight because I did not change my eating habits. Eventually a job promotion and my devotion to my new position made the gym disappear, along with the 202 pounds. Before I knew it, I was 240 pounds. In 2000, I gave birth to another child. I only gained 15 pounds during my pregnancy which was good. The bad part was now I was the mother of a baby and a teenager at the same time. Even though I was right there, I disappeared from my own life.

When I came to, I weighed 280 pounds(on the scale at home- which means I was closer to 290 pounds). I went on Atkins. I lost 34 pounds. Yaay!. I went off Atkins because I missed fruit and bread and gained it all back. So one day I saw an add for Weight Watchers. I did not think I could lose weight eating all of the foods I like. But I could. The problem was that the weight did not disappear in the speed of light and I became discouraged. I told myself that "I'm too old" or 'I'm too fat" to lose the weight. I found a good leader/meeting and lost 19 pounds. I injured my knee working out and allowed my recovery and my mother's hospitalization to let me get distracted from me. In 2009, I said I cannot go on like this. I was watching the "Put A Ring On It" video and thought why can't I look like that. And just like that, the positive thinking like came on in my life. I realized I was still there. I was still still a woman. I still wanted to be cute. I wanted to be healthier. I wanted to be able to play with my son. Now I tell myself I can do it. IT'S GOING TO TAKE A LOOOOONG TIME. But guess what, it took me 25 years to gain all this weight. The weight has made itself comfortable on my body and now it's time for me to be selfish and care about what happens to me. I still love my family. But now I realize that if I don't make it, I cannot take care of them. It's like they say in flights instructions. In the event of an emergency, put the air mask on yourself first so that you can help others.

28 pounds later, I can go out and workout while my son plays and join him when I am finished. I go to my meetings. It's Mom's Night Out. And I make my lunch and I buy Weight Watchers snacks that are just for me. And I go to bed early even though I want to stay up with my old man, so that my body gets rest and I can get up really early and walk a couple of miles to the office. I jam to my ipod tracks and talk to myself when I am doing laps on the local track. And I imagine that deep inside, my body is smiling for all this attention.

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