Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Out of control eating

        This is probably a topic that I could write about forever. This week's topic is OUTOF CONTROL EATING. Out of control eating is about the type of eating that you do in secret.There is no secret that I love to eat and I have done my fair share of eating in public. By there is a behind the scenes eating as well. For example, I bought a bag of honey wheat pretzels. Why oh  why Delilah did I do that? I started out with the best of intentions. I found out that the serving size was eight pretzels and counted them into a ziplock bag. That serving is worth three points. Then I had another eight pretzels. The next day I figured I should try a different snack, so I popped some fat free kettle korn. On Sunday, I was feeling bad because I have a head cold. I decided to relax in bed for most of the day.Nothing goes with a cup of tea like guess what? some more pretzels. This time I did not count them out. I took the whole bag to bed with me. I thought I might be able to control myself. I lost control the moment I took the bag into the bedroom. In less than an hour, the whole bag was gone. I had stopped counting at ten and I no longer cared how many I ate. My kids were not in the room with me. I probably told myself that if no one saw me eat it,then it didn't count. But my old man came to check on me and made the mistake of attempting to help himself to a pretzel. I think I may have growled at him.
     I say all this because it needs to be said. Sometimes when we are confused about why we are not losing weight, we need to sit back and observe ourselves. Even though I go to weekly WW meetings, I still occasionally have an out of control binge. Picture this. I am watching television and I want something sweet. I will go get a piece of fruit. But after I ate the fruit, I am not satisfied. So I go get another piece on fruit. But when I am done, I still want more. So then I go pop some fat free kettle korn. I eat the whole bag by myself. But still I want more. So then I will eat two WW peanut butter bliss bars. Now I have no choice but to survey the damage;
-two fruit pits
-empty giant bowl
-two WW wrappers
    Oh the horror!! I must now consolidate this mess so that no one can tell that I had anything but popcorn. I would deny the popcorn, butthere's no point. The apartment reeks of it. Did you notice something about the wording of this story? Did you ever see the words "I WAS HUNGRY"??? It's because I probably was not hungry. When I am in control, I tell myself to wait a while and see if I am still hungry or I plan to have a specific snack and stick with that plan.
        I have a very dear girlfriend who came to visit from North Carolina. We acted like teenage girls, telling stories all into the night. And then when I would normally pass out she said "let's get something to eat". I mean literally get out of the bed and fix something like bagels and cream cheese and then go back to bed. I did it, but I was astonished. It happened almost every night until she went back home. Once she was gone, I never did it again. But then I went to visit her in NC and we did it almost every night. Sometimes heating up full plates of leftovers. One night we even cooked hot food. When I went home, I did not continue the night time eating. My friend was overweight. Sh hated the fact that she was overweight. She did all kinds of diets. When we would talk about losing weight she would say " I don't eat big portions of food like you do. I can't eat that much at once. It makes my stomach hurt". We would be on the phone talking about life's problems and suddenly, I could not understand what she was saying. It was because her mouth was full. Or suddenly I would hear the sound of chip wrappers opening. I would say " girl, what are you eating?" "Oh some chips. Oh a chicken wing. Oh some cereal. Oh some shrimp.Oh just some salad. Oh I don't know why I'm eating these cookies. " It would go on and on.  one day I told her that she should stop eating late at night. But she would say "I don't eat much". I told her that most people don't go back into the kitchen after ten and eleven o'clock at night and have mini meals. I told her that I had a feeling that since her portion sizes were small, that her overeating was coming from eating late at night. But she would not listen. Recently she lost a lot of weight. I was happy for her because I know how unhappy she was from her weight. Do you  know what she said? "I stopped eating late at night".
       This week was not a good one for me. I gained 4.6lbs. It was not just the pretzels. I had a cold and I did not do my weekend warrior workouts. I did not eat salads for lunch. I grabbed leftover spaghetti. I ate my feelings of illness and sadness. I MEDICATED myself with food and medication and  the scale told the truth. So after last night's WW meeting, I fixed my salad for lunch. I am  going to try to get back on track although the cough drops- sugar free or not- are not my friend, This week I am going to;
1) track in my journal
2) keep doing my morning two miles
3)Tomorrow evening in our monthly  5K planned by the wonderful Tamra.
4)I am off Friday morning, so I planning an extra workout
5) Saturday is my niece's wedding. OOOOH. ELECTRIC SLIDE!!
6)Try to get back to bike riding as often as possible
        Hopefully I will get rid of the pounds that I gained and get back on track.

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