Hotel California

            I chose Hotel California which is one of my favorite songs from the 70's. I know it's really about a drugs but I sometimes feels that it can pertain to anything. My favorite line is "you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave". That's how I felt this week with my weight loss journey. At my meeting last Tuesday, I gained .4lbs. I know it sounds like a little amount to a woman who weighs over 200lbs but I was disappointed that there was not a loss. I had been running around busting my butt and still no check in the mail. I admit that I sunk down into PLOMS mode ( poor little old me).  I thought about feeding my anger because I do have "manage my feelings" problems but I didn't do it. I didn't step out of my funk either. I feel like I'm at the Hotel California. That I can die at any moment if I want to but I can never lose weight.
             Then one day last week while I was tracking what I eat in ETools and I clicked into success stories. I read a few success stories about people with a lot of weight to lose. I even made some notes;
-Do one small thing, burn a few calories here and there
-When you get up in the morning and before you go to bed  at night, take two  minutes to do some crunches, lunges or push ups. Overtime these haboits will add up to a stronger core and firmer arms and legs.
-Works out three times a week and walks almost every night.
-The missing link was portion control. I was eating two to three portions per meal.
-Do 20 "guy push ups" and 200 crunches to lose loose skin.
                While my problems did not go away totally, I did feel a little better. I started to think about reframing what I do to see if I could get a different result.
           At the Tuesday Night Happy Hour WW meeting, my leader Melanie went over the topic of why we are in WW to begin with? Of course I was sitting there with smoke coming out of my ears wondering the very same thing.  Melanie read an part of WW founder Jean Nidetch's autobiography when she talks about the moment of realizing that she really needed to lose weight. I sat there and tried to think of mine. Of course I had many of those moments. For instance, looking around at a company meeting and finding out that I was the biggest person there. Or when I went for a GYN exam and the doctor ( who coincidentally is the doctor who delivered me into this world) asked me if I was interested in having the bypass surgery. Or when I found myself huffing and puffing while trying to get to the bus stop one night after work. Or the time I was watching the Beyonce video, you know the one where she is in this little black leotard  doing a Bob Fosse-like routine and I said to myself, " I used to be cute like that".  I heard of a neighbor who had so many complications from the bypass surgery and eventually died leaving relatives to raise her young children. I had tried many diets and knew that it was financially impossible for me to pay for individual food to be delivered to me so I signed up for the last hope: Weight Watchers.  Here are a list of reasons that the TNHH group came up with;
1)Self -esteem
2)Vanity
3)Health ( and /or body ease)
4)Identity
            
THIS WEEK'S ACTIVITY(Sept. 20-26)
Tues. walk 30 plus blocks to office + all day = 9pts
Wed. all day - 3pts
Thurs. all day = 2pts
Fri.  all day - 4pts
Sat. half walk/half jog a 5K on track + running errands until 10pm - 13pts
Sun. walk 4 miles around track w/ hubby + laundry - 9pts
Mon. walk a 5K around track w/ hubby (jogged the last lap) - 8pts
TOTAL = 48 activity points