Definition of stress: The body's reaction to a change that requires a physical, mental, or emotional adjustment or response.
Apparently the things I have been going through; heavy work load, being mother's manager, and the usual everyday life have turned into a bad dream. You know the kind of dream where you are running from a villain and you never get caught but you are forever running away. I cannot escape folks. I need to work. I need to live everyday. And no matter what happened in the past, I cannot cut off my mother. So what do I do? I turn my stress inward. I tried to pretend I can do it all because. well, I have no choice. Now my body is reacting.
I have been saying for the last few weigh-ins that I did not lose or gain but this week I gained 3lbs even though I exercised more. I have been driving my chiropractor and massage therapist crazy because I am having so much upper back pain and that was not what I was being treated for. So I am in pain all the time now. My doctor checks my blood pressure every week and it has been going up every week. So there's my triple threat; weight gain, high blood pressure and pain. I am the hamster on the treadmill. I am Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction sitting on the floor turning the light on and off.
But I am not giving up. I need to figure out a way around it. I would like to buy a Tool For Living.
Postive Self Talking
-I will try to control the size of my dinner plate a little better
-I will try to figure out ways to use my 49 bonus points instead of fearing them
-I will figure out a way to relax
-I will lose the weight.I did not think I would get there at first but I did. And I can do it again.
-I will lose 9lbs ( 3lbs I gained this week+ the six I need to reach the 50lbs goal)
Not all was lost this week. I did push forward in my exercise.
Tues: 9019 steps all day = 5pts
Wed. all day= 1pt + 30 mins dvd= 3pts
Thurs. 7728 steps all day 4pts
Fri. 11,822 steps= 8pts
Sat. jog in while watching tv for 60mins + all day = 9pts
Sun. jog in place for 30 mins + all day = 7pts
Mon. Rest day
I found that even though I could not get to the track, I could kill two birds with one stone by watching my dvr recordings and jogging in place. At first I said to myself that this is a load of BS but when I saw it add up on my pedometer and the amount of sweating I was doing, I realized that I was exercising and made peace with it. Indoor exercise does not have to be just dvds.
I was called out by my leader Melanie as someone who tries to avoid using my 49 bonus points. I normally avoid them. I found that when I used them in the past that I did not lose as much weight. But right now while trying to break my plateau/gain I may need to rethink my bonus points strategy. So I will attempt to use my bonus points for the next couple of weeks to see if I am indeed hoarding them or even under-eating( yes WW can under-eat at times).
There is a friend of mine that is going through "IT" right now working to get back on track. At our meeting this week she spoke out about gaining and being very disappointed in losing her battle. But as we know battles rage on for ages. Any one with large amounts of weight to lose have to know that this journey goes on for a while. That does not mean that we do not fall down. We do. I do. It is the fortitude which we use to get back up and try again that makes us who we are. Tip #37 in the the new WW Ultimate 3 Month Tracker says;
" Make time for yourself: The WW plan isn't just about your relationship with food, it also helps you learn how to mak yourself a priority"
I am one of those people who struggle with making myself a priority much much more than worry about what to eat. I am blogging right this minute while high from consuming a plain donut. I will tell you more about this weekend in my next blog. But I will leave you with two great things that happened this week.
1) I finally used a tip that my massage therapist ( who is vegan) and from the WW website. In my struggle to eat more power foods, I finally made the frozen banana treat. I sliced two bananas and put them in a ziplock bag in the freezer. After dinner that night, I blended them in my blender and they magically turned into banana ice cream. I mean it tasted really good like Chunky Monkey ice cream. I predict that all banana lovers with a blender try it.
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This is the most hilarious and poignant sentence I have ever read: "I am Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction sitting on the floor turning the light on and off." You don't know how many times I've felt like that! Keep up the good work and keeping writing because it's helping me and others more than you realize.
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